Many of you will remember that I attended camps regularly beginning somewhere around 1982. (likely you understand failing memory so I won't go into all the reason why I can't remember exact details anymore) What I do remember very clearly is that my first camp was the August camp at Saugatuck. If I recall correctly there were only two camps then, one at Saugatuck and a second at the George Williams College facility on Lake Geneva.

I will have to admit that the first camp experience was one of the most impactful events of my adult life. I can clearly remember many of the "old timers" from that first camp experience; Jane P., Walter B., Bruno, Tom and Sheila, Sharon S., Rick P. and the lady who later became his wife (can't come up with her name), Raoul I., Marty V. and Mary, and many others. I recall that my first group was with Rick P. It was very eventful and an eye opener for me. The thing I remember most was that the participants were revealing very personal things about themselves, touching each other, hugging and some even crying. In my world those kinds of activities were not standard operating procedure, especially in public.

To say that I was totally blown away during that first camp is to put it lightly. While none of the camps I later attended had that kind of impact they were all good. It must be that I have become accustomed to all the touching, hugging and yes, even crying in public since such behaviors seem quite normal to me anymore.

I do know that "behavioral norms" today are a bit different than when I first began attending camps. While it serves no purpose to report any of the stuff I saw or experienced at camps during those first few years, I can report that I began to change significantly after my third year of camps. Friendships I developed became very close. It was there that I found myself sharing things I never considered sharing, opened in ways I hadn't imagined and touched in ways I didn't know existed.

Life has presented me with numerous opportunities, to develop skills, gain a fine education, be successful in a career, and have a full and otherwise rich life. However, none of those enriched me as did my experiences at AMUUSE camps over the 20 or so years I attended there. It's hard to find words to convey the real story of what exactly happened as a result of my being there and exactly how I changed so much. Perhaps it is accurate to say that my camp experiences gave me an opportunity to "tweak" an otherwise pretty full life into one I wouldn't trade for any other today.

How often have I heard camp friends speak about the "camp" glow, or the feeling that we all seemed to bring home each time we attended. After camps and returning to our everyday world each of us would relate the contrast of how different we seemed after spending a week at camp. That "glow" would fade after a while and most of us would return to feeling the way we had been before camp. I have to wonder if the desire to recapture the "camp feeling" is why reunions have always been so popular over the years. The explanation I have always heard is that we loved being with the people at camp. While that is likely true I would have to ask if there is more to this than gets acknowledged?

Could there be some wisdom in this view of the camp experience? Could it be that what we liked most about camp is that we loved being with ourselves there? Could it be that, at camp, we found a way to be truly "who we are", in ways we couldn't otherwise be in our everyday world? Could it be that many of us were looking to put those scattered pieces of "who we are" into one package, accessible any time we needed. I'll have to say that this is true for me, only I didn't know it at that time.

Many pages could be devoted to listing all the things I gained at camps. However, the most significant and rewarding thing that I gained from having attended camps all those years is "me". Camp was the place where I learned to put all the sides of me together into one person. The way it all happened is complex and took many years of camp experiences to occur.

I would be selling these experience short if I didn't acknowledge that nothing about camp facilities or programs caused this to happen. No, I rather think, it was the people I encountered there. It seems to me that the most valuable thing was interacting with campers of all stripes, sizes, flavors and varieties. It was having an opportunity to spend very intimate time with these people that helped me understand parts of myself that I liked and parts I needed to change.

It was you....Jane, Linda, Walter, Jan, Mike, Sharon, John, Kari, Phil, Paul, Chet, and a few hundred others of you who, talked, played, shared, and interacted with me. It was you who allowed me to experience who you are in ways that I hadn't known before. It's to these experiences with you that I owe a great deal of my growth.

Not all of the hundreds of people I came into contact with become extra close friends. However, everyone I experienced there contributed to my growth over the many times I attended AMUUSE camps.

As I grow older and come to see life in the "rear view mirror", perhaps it would be accurate to speak of those years as the "summer(s)" of my life....thanks to all of you who shared all those wonderful memories with me.

Hugs to all of you,

J