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We were married November 24 on an Ohio-grade cloudy day enlivened by flowers and leis brought from Hawaii by Ron's mother Akiko. It was a splendid party, with about 20 of the greatest people we know - our families - sitting in a circle and offering thoughts Quaker style in a Unitarian-Universalist service which included a commitment ceremony with Ron's children.
Besides birds of paradise from Akiko's garden, anthuriums, orchids, and other tropical flowers, we were graced by an Inuit blessing from Kari's sister Sonia and a hula blessing from Ron's sister Jeannie. Later we were blessed with three slide shows, a video, and wonderful photos from Jerry and Gerrie McDonald (jg productions), including the ones above.
Ron's three children, a special joy to both of us, were our attendants and Kari's personal shoppers. Lani is now a junior at Barnard College, preparing to take a term in Senegal, Geoffrey is at the Hill School in Pottstown Pennsylvania applying for colleges for next year, and Sachi is a junior at Worthington Kilbourne High School. Kari is thrilled to have her family enriched by them, and by Ron's mother and sisters Jeannie and Karleen, who spent a week here for the wedding.
So what's changed in this lovely merger, begun 2 ½ years ago as we became soulful friends in the wake of difficulties? Robert Louis Stevenson, in his Letters, called marriage “a sort of friendship recognized by the police.” An Annie Dillard character in The Maytrees says of marriage that “it's a marvelous way to get to know someone.” We relish both the official stamp and the added personal depth.
Getting married was an easy choice for both of us. We have had, after all, a year and a half of living together to adjust to, and mostly be amused by, our differences. (Materialism: Kari a minimalist, Ron with food shopping his third favorite weekend activity, reliance on specialists, Kari doing most everything from aggressive investing to designing gardens on her own, Ron more comfortable calling in someone who knows what they're doing, household order: Kari wanting bare spaces and everything put away, Ron generously adding piles of good things to the house and his storage area, verbal order: Kari enjoying complexity, ambivalence, deferred endings, Ron eager for the bottom line…)
But then we have such lovely compatibilities! Cooking, eating adventurously, sitting hand-in-hand meditatively in church every Sunday, gazing at woods and birds outside our home or reading the Sunday New York Times, sharing our thoughts over a very late dinner at the end of our workdays. . .
Besides marriage, what else is new?
Four new gardens, including a Japanese garden, with an unimaginable number of new trees and shrubs and the big-budget item - rocks! We can hardly wait for spring.
Ron's work specializing in developing products for Nationwide Insurance's start-up bank took us to San Diego for a conference in October. After his sessions we cruised the coast towns whose names we remembered from Beach Boy songs.
Kari, who's a classical violinist and violist and teacher, took a workshop on jazz in Pittsburgh, loved improvising and spending time with Roy and Charlotte Sonne. Not new is my devotion to the Suzuki school which I started thirty years ago this fall, capably run by Laurie Kirk. I relish teaching there four days a week and have many dear students, current and former, who have me checking the mail and emails at this time of year with anticipation.
Kari's workshops with OhioHealth, historically successful, losing enrollment this year, nudging me to revamp them. I work at a rehab-fitness center, McConnell Heart Health Center, as a myofascial massage therapist 2 ½ days a week and teach classes in muscle pain management, longlasting yoga stretches for people with chronic pain, and exercise workshops.
Amusements: rugged new trails in Kauai this summer, California trips to visit Kari's uncle and aunt Max and Jerry Liston, valued time with Kari's mom whose mind seems to sharpen as she loses physical strength, Aikido for Ron and Taiko drumming for Ron and Sachi together.
We pray for peace in our hearts, our marriage, our country, and in this weary world. We treasure you in our lives and look back and forward at our connections to you. May your holidays be serene and joyous.
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